Rules were made for a reason…

…but this time, I just can’t understand the reason.

Yesterday, I blogged about how happy I was at this university. Today, that very conviction was questioned.

The conservative system has often been the source of my indignation, yet only today did I truly see how oppressive to personal expression it can be.

Before I go on, let me clear things up: I respect authority and rules; I understand why certain rules are important for peace and order; I believe in equality; I believe in the right to make my own choices; I believe in personal expression.

I understand why dress codes were put into place – to ensure that people dressed properly and decently, especially at the workplace. But as with all rules, there are limits. One can only ask someone to do something in the name of decency/peace/order before it becomes oppression.

I don’t force my beliefs on you, you don’t force your beliefs on me, we’re both happy. That’s the way it works.

8 months.

It has been 8 months since I last updated this blog… a turbulent, exhilarating and bittersweet 8 months. When I first came to this university, I had no idea of the surprises that awaited me; some were beautiful, some not so.

Singing along to Dionne Warwick’s I Know I’ll Never Love This Way Again in Uncle Sam’s taxi.

Squeezing with 2716498 other people in a commuter train.

Rocking the whole Pizza Hut restaurant at Mid Valley with 21 other people during Minako’s birthday party.

Staying up late into the night to study for Physics final paper.

Having my very first taste of pork belly.

Running around taking pictures with people I’ve come to love over time.

Trying to sleep in a small room with 8 others.

Mistakes made. Drama (which is continuing, just toned down) that I wished I didn’t play a part in causing.

All the rushing to the airport to go back to my beloved hometown. ❤

Celebrating New Year’s Day at Pavilion.

Dancing to some wacky Chinese song.

Being disappointed and disillusioned with the system here, the people, the food.

Learning to forget the flaws and see the beauty.

Hanging out with the lovely girls I’ve known since I was young.

Camping at the food court with brilliant, extremely helpful friends to finish my college applications.

Stressing over my college essays, exams.

All those informal class outings to shopping malls.

Depression, identity crisis, principles questioned.

Going to Paramore’s concert and then getting lost in the city with Ruby and Isaac.

And this is by no means an exhaustive list.

Much of my time here was spent wishing myself out of this place. I came to despise the system, to find flaws with many things, to feel oppressed. Then again, if human beings were ever satisfied, how are we to progress? But I digress. There was a time when Yellowcard’s Back Home became an anthem for my life. I was lost for a period of time – I didn’t know what I wanted from life. I still don’t, but I have a clearer idea now. I discovered metaphysics, and boy, can I say that the subject really depressed me.

Last week, I received my offer letter from Northwestern. As of time of writing, I got into UC San Diego and UW Seattle too. Now that I’m a little bit closer to leaving this place for a (hopefully) more liberal and progressive college, I’ve found that it’s rather hard to leave.

Yes, I do want to go to the States. But in the past 8 months, I’ve forged such close bonds with the people here. Perhaps not as close as those I have with people I know back home – but definitely closer than what I would normally expect from a 8-month relationship. I’ve shared such lovely memories, had some funny moments, argued and made up with these amazing people. I’ve found out that everything may seem so shallow, but when the s**t hits the proverbial fan, they’ve got your back.

Admittedly, I still feel oppressed at times, but I’m much happier nowadays. The system remains the same – autocratic and conservative. So I’ll go on until I find a place where I express my convictions without being looked at like a radical. But I’m gonna miss all these people. Believe me, I will.

❤